My Story

The kingdom of God is Righteousness Peace and Joy in the Holy Spirit.

This preface was written for my story of….How Jesus has changed me.The words were the inspiration of the Holy Spirit speaking directly into my life.

Not many people are fortunate enough to know the Lord Jesus Christ in the way in which he speaks and talks to me.

It is true that I spent five years being pretty quiet & alone with him but even then it is no guarantee he will be available to talk every time you ask him a question.

Yes he did say ask a question & I will always answer & he always has.

Why did he say that to me ask & I will always answer you?

Was it because I was being especially good at helping others or was it because I was in a terrible state?

No it was not.

The answer is very very simple he had called me to be quiet from a very busy life I was leading.

This busy life appeared to others like a full blown commercial success a full blown star type life & it could have been even more full blown as I was offered five million a year by Lieberman a Swiss company who recognized my great talent to design for the rich & famous.

Being famous and rich did not feel like it should have felt. According to the popular press & the general advertising media.

Did you ever hear the story of the man who was unable to give up all he had to follow Jesus? Did you ever think about how he was very sad as he walked away?

Why was he sad?

Was it because he could not make a decision to leave the influence of being important with his influential wealth? Or was it because he was unable to register the gain he would receive from being with Jesus?

In support of wealth is the ability to enjoy the benefits & be able to let the wealth support many others. Sadly few are able to fully let go & allow the spirit of God to teach them how to be available to supporting those who should be part of those who receive the gifts off others.

When did I start to let go of all the world holds in great esteem? A time was when my understanding of being hungry for unconditional love was being fought over. What do I mean fought over?

This is often called spiritual warfare.

Because many sides were attacking my life I could not see the wood for the trees or the corruption from the helpful.

At a time like that wisdom is needed to overcome any pain of feeling unloved & unheard by those around one, and the pain of past unsolved wounds of childhood.

In those years of solitude and quiet I was taught by the Holy Spirit to be available to all the teaching that was being given me. If I had still had a busy commercial life I would not have learnt  the value of solitude. The value of being quiet and still to be fed by the word that would bring the healing and the cleansing that was to come.

What do I mean healing and cleansing that was to come? Was I not already cleansed and healed? Was I not already a baptized Christian? How come I needed such a long time to learn to hear the whisper of the Holy Spirit?

This life so full of promise and expectation is only fully lived when we know that the Holy Spirit has had his way in our lives. To be able to fully live out all of who I am this time of action was essential.

In all that is important in this world there is only one action that is truly eternal and that is worship.

To be a true worshiper of God it is essential to know the way the truth and the life to which we have been called. It is impossible to find this joy of being in the presence of the Lord if we have not found this pathway. It is a clear pathway that brings the greatest joy to be a worshiper of God. Let all that brings the joy in your mind heart and soul be available to the fullness that is experienced when fully worshiping.

The reason I speak about worship so early in my writing my story is because this is the beginning of  hearing the Lord. There is no other way than being with him to worship.

The Lord enjoys the journey with him that we take according to the day the year the time he has prepared. All that is important is being aware of the presence of the Holy Spirit speaking to your heart this is how you are sure he has spoken to you.

This time is one of being unable to hear the Lord clearly, why is this?

It is because few dare to go close to listen. When you go close the voice of clarity speaks the words clearly in your mind heart and will. The way to be able to know all that Jesus has for our lives is being in the fullness of being close to him few want to know this, why?

Because few really want to fully change into the ways of holiness few do, do you?

In these days a time is needed to be quiet in heart mind and soul. When the desire comes to be alone with Jesus all that is important is to follow that call no matter what activity is taking our attention and life’s energy.

This is one of the most important symbols & signs to us and our family and  friends and  the world that the priority in our life is following the desire to follow Jesus. Nothing in our lives is more important than this call.

In this time of being with the Lord in thought word and deed the energy of life becomes renewed and the joy of Jesus flows freely. The ability to listen to his voice becomes a clear sound in your heart & mind. This time will also bring the insights into your life of all the plans that the Lord has planned for you to be involved in.

If however the desire to turn back to the world and all the games that are played the call will gradually fade and the call will be difficult to hear again. Each time we deny the call we are denying the desire to follow Jesus.

This is a time of being aware of all that is needed to fully respond to all that is to be poured out on all those who are fully aware of Jesus ’s love, his anointing, his passion for his church.

This is the day of his passion. This is the reason that he came to minister the cross of his love to his church feel the joy feel the love feel the call.

When the response to his call is listened to and obeyed those who respond in fullness of purpose are able to unite with the spiritual Church of Jesus ’s meetinghouse.

This is his word to those who respond.

Let the loving begin in all who respond this will bring a tide of blessing to many lands a tidal wave of my heart poured out through my people poured out through my church poured out through my anointed church.

In this way my love can seep into every crevice every tiny crack every hidden pain every secret sin nothing will be hidden for my love as my church brings this worship blessing.

To be part of my church that brings my tidal wave means a worship warrior of a life that has been set apart marked for this ability.

It is a time to know that all who worship with a heart full of joy and full of focus on the Holy Spirit will indeed know clearly all that is intended for times that bring the Glory of God the Father into every detail in their lives.

In all that is available in life there is nothing more wonderful than being close to Jesus to have a way of being available to hear his voice to know how he directs you and to feel the fullness of his love.

Absolutely nothing compares to being with Jesus on a daily walk. The joy filled life of abundant activities only come from knowing his warmth in your life.

If this world holds you as a prisoner you will be aware of the anxiety you feel every time a bolt of bad news hits your mind. If your focus is on the works of God you will know that the word has been shown you to allow all that is passing to pass and all that is eternal will be brought to pass. This is the thinking of the hope that has grown roots within you. Without the hope you cannot have this confidence in the daily happenings of this world until your hope is focused on the will of your Father in Heaven nothing in your life is secure…nothing.

When all that fills your mind is focused on being the best of everything the best will evade your sense of achievement for even if you are able to be the best at something it is fleeting it does not bring you the satisfaction of a worthwhile life that is eternal.

This is called satisfaction in only one area of your life it does not satisfy the cravings of your hunger for being loved. If in your heart there are areas of confrontation and all people have areas of confrontation until the holy spirit has brought the healing you will fail in this life to grasp the purpose for being here.

In this life many will ask why do people often become depressed and unable to hear the direction that they are being given.

The answer is they lack the listening ear to hear the direction that is theirs.

In time when this life ceases we will be given the clearest understanding on what it means to hear God’s voice in all his fullness of perfect love.

As yet the time is not right for the traveler who has lost his way to be able to return the same way, but in Jesus Christ the fullness of forgiveness and mercy will cleanse and provide a way out, while we still have breath we can be brought into the fullness of Gods ’s love to be able to bear all this world has for us.

In every person who desires the fullness of this life is the key to achieving this goal. Every blessing has been prepared for this journey every step that is taken towards the life that brings the fullness of love is prepared in every heart.

Understanding that it is a journey into the unknown for each person’s journey is vastly different. To learn that your own personal journey is the only one that can be taken is in it’s self a major lesson.

If the heat of being with other Christians is too hot or too cold this is because not enough time is spent on developing your own journey. For all are called to know the plans that Jesus is calling us to.

If you have a hunger for the love that God will pour into your soul it is essential to spend time apart with the holy spirit teaching you your part that is written for you and not a part that is written for someone else.

Life is a one-time event.

Waiting beyond this time is only the consequences of your decisions you have made- from when you were formed in the womb.

In this life only two things are needed, the desire to allow all that you are to be fully evolved, and the purpose to which you are called to be fully understood & lived out.

When these are your focus you will also be aware of the calling on your life.

If when you hear the calling you take a different road you will be uncertain of your journey. Hearing and obeying the calling are of the utmost importance,

When the time is clear for the days of purpose to be investigated take with you your hunger to know with clarity the road that God has marked for you. Every step you take is a step of faith and you will be directed, when your hunger is to do the will of your Father in heaven, is written on your brow.

Expect to be blessed, expect to be anointed with the joy of your salvation expect all that is good and pleasing to your heavenly Father to be bestowed on you. Let your heart mind and soul be united in the search for the who what and why you are here for here lies the greatest joy.

Do not be available to anyone who turns you from this path of seeking they are not you, they are unable to know you fully, only your Father in heaven who created you can lead and speak to your heart and mind.

The days of being unable to find are not yours, this is a time to seek more and expect more.

Wake up your soul to desire more and to be aware of the deepest hunger to know with greater clarity the steps that are needed for your awareness. Sometimes this is a journey of years sometimes the revelations are simple and clear.

When I first started writing this diary of my journey I purposed to speak of the exciting wonderful times I have had on my journey. Also I wanted to include some of the difficult cleansing testing times.

If in the telling I offend you it is important you stop and ask Jesus why am I offended what has touched my mind and heart that brings this reaction?

Then you will be giving the Holy Spirit an opportunity to clarify.

All that is needed is time. Often we give too little time to our priorities that would bring the Kingdom of God into our lives with joy passion and great energy of life.

Yes our priorities are those that aid our journey.

If when we take with us unregistered feelings we must also take the awareness that Jesus is teaching and training us to do his will. Only then when we have this understanding will our brows wear the sign that we are walking in his will. For all who decided to be trained by Jesus must come to the place of being discipled by him and by him alone.

This does not mean another who is trained in the word cannot walk and talk with you, it simply means that Jesus and him alone know where you are being sent.

In time the ease of the journey takes a lighter step as the way is clarified by the confirmation in your heart mind and soul. If when we speak of being in the Fathers hands we take on a further task or two that are worldly and unsupported by our own understanding we forfeit the clear crystal voice that speaks to our heart.

Because this is a step of deceit we will not know the reason for the silence until we have found our way back. Yet in the process we will learn that our path way is littered with opportunities that will take us off the straight clear road. Every step of deceit wears a label which reads,

I do not fear the Lord in my life sufficient to believe his will is more important than mine.

We are chosen to wear his robe of holiness and this is impossible until we come to the place of benediction. The place of being available to receive all he longs to fill us with.

If as we journey with him we turn our attention to all that he calls us to, we will be able to feel the peace and the joy that his fulfillment in us brings regardless of the situation we are facing.

This is a safe high place where the snare and the brier cannot tear us. It may bring some distress but never sufficient to bring us lasting harm only sufficient to bring us revelation to our souls.

What joy always accompanies revelation a joy that will last for eternity, written on your heart a step of correction or a step of insightful understanding that sprang from reading the word.

These are moments of pure love for the truth that brings such a harvest of freedom. Freedom from the worlds understanding that may of bound you, or freedom from the eaten lies that bound you. Freedom to move in the way that you were created to move, full of the joy of being close to our source of perfect love where only fear of causing Jesus sadness, is our only fear.

In time one is able to understand all that is written in the bible. It takes however the awareness of the Holy Spirit to educate your heart mind and soul to a level of hearing the Lord speak directly to your mind [ without interference from any outside knowledge or distortion of the truth] that the world is receiving from our Father in Heaven.

It is a simple thing to know that the Lord is directing your life, for the peace will affect everything in your day-to-day experiences and the joy of his heart will be felt in yours.

Some times the joy will over-whelm you with a great sense of his delight and approval that your life is given to him.

This is called the death of self-focus. The death of accumulated habits of believing that your every thought is to be listened to and acknowledged by your own personal desires to satisfy your own or another’s cravings.

This is a journey that can take a life time, or weeks depending on your commitment to Jesus. If every thought is brought into captivity and examined the prognosis is simpler it will just take a steady mind and will.

If the prognosis is that your life is too busy to slow your thinking down it is doubtful that you will in this life hear your Lord speak to your heart and mind. It is a choice that few really want. It takes courage it takes a strong desire to obey the Lord it takes great passion for the cross.

To fully obey all you are shown to do is a life of total dedication to the call placed on your life. Many are called but few are chosen. The flesh is weak although your spirit may be willing.

When the call is heard this is the time to respond delay causes the emotions to dissipate the blessing that is on you. Being aware that the call is on you brings clarity to your thinking when you stop and give the time to receive all the Lord is pouring on you.

This is an exciting time to be in the Holy Spirits discipleship private class. Finding yourself available to be taught by the Holy Spirit will come as your will comes into line with the call.

No plans of your own will be needed God will make a clear path way and your desires will melt into his. Some times a change of location may be needed or a different country might be part of your journey.

For the very act of change of culture brings a fine-tuning to your culture habitual thoughts. These will be exciting challenging days full of unexpected emotions. Allowing the freedom of the Holy Spirit to teach you is essential.

So each day when you are ready for his presence prepared by prayer, bible open, pen & paper ready, box of tissues to hand you wait & let silence fill your soul.

When the Lord began my journey with me in Hong Kong, I only had Saturdays free as I was running a large international company. I would lie down on my shaggy white carpet, pillow under my head, blanket over me, tissues at my side and wait.

He would gently bring areas of my life to me that needed repentance and healing sometimes I needed to write letters of apology or plan personal visits to talk to different people in the future. Always I cried for several hours over sins and pains of the past. Always I would be fully filled with his loving gentle forgiveness and feel the burden of consequences of past sin in my life leaving me.

As I grew lighter and closer to him the desire to study the bible grew and I longed to stop my fashion business, stop my world and get off.

Just at that time I was offered five million a year to join my company with Lieberman’s.To be the Channel of the East.

When it became clear for me to say no.

I was asked unexpectedly to tell a group of leading Hong Kong business people why I had said no, I quickly asked Jesus to help me, the words then flowed out.

I was like a little bird locked in a cage now Jesus has opened the cage door and I am flying free I will not go back in the cage for all the tea in China!!

This is a time of revelation when the words are simply understood with no need to sit and think when the spirit blesses your thoughts the words flow. In time this blessing becomes part of your every day life as your focus is changed from me me me to those around you.

The focus of how to enrich and bless others is always in your heart and mind and the Holy Spirit prompts the thoughts and prayers until you and the Spirit work as one.

If however the time is not made for the process of this training the call will gradually fade. The desire to follow Jesus will become a lost hope just like the rich young man who left never knowing he had lost the most incredible opportunity of his life. If he had turned at that moment his life would have become full and over flowing with the abundance of knowledge that is above all earthly wealth.

The ability to live the Kingdom of God life here on Earth is the call and the blessing to all who respond.

In his heart he carried the understanding that his insight and knowledge were already his own and he would be able to walk his own road of life without any need of God’s help for he had sorted the disciplines of the Jewish Torah and been able in his own strength to fulfill the requirements of the laws.

Indeed this would of taken great discipline and tremendous attention to detail this was a great achievement in his day but one that brought pride and a seared stubborn heart.

Unless we understand that all we are is a gift from God and all our abilities are his gifting we cannot hope to lay down all we are at his feet to prune and tend us to produce the fruit that brings God’s glory and us the Joy and peace that passes all understanding.

If when we are not really available to the word of God or to the actions of the Holy Spirit we take off mentally physically and emotionally we loose the way for a while.

Even if we want to recapture the hours and days we missed it will not be possible. But the Holy Spirit will bring new understanding to the side journey that was taken.

The days will come when in the depth of our hearts we know that the Holy Spirit is speaking to the way we are choosing, and we have a fine tuning to feel that this is not the full path way we are walking, this intuition is brought about by the time spent in prayer and time spent in reading and speaking the word aloud.

This is always a fruit of our own labor requiring time and peace.Yet no one will ever be able to fully understand the workings of the Holy Spirit for he is the comforter who brings us into all truth and preparation for the last days.

Let not your heart be troubled brings the message to those who trust that God is covering everything that is happening in their lives, trust and obey is always the only way there are no exceptions none.

2 thoughts on “My Story

  1. Hi Jenny,don’t know if you remember me,I used to work for you many moons ago.I started in Robinson road as a Beautician and than moved to Gammon house with you.I would love to read your Biography,could you please let me know who published it?Ilive in Australia with my husband Ben ,(you have met him too) and my 3 daughters.Enjoyed reading about all your achievements.
    Regards from SAndra

  2. Hi Sandra ,Great to hear from you.Congratulations on the husband & the three daughters-would love a photo!
    My Giles is still in Shanghai i am in Spain-love it painting up the mountains-must add a few more to my
    Thanks for the encouragement will get on with my story,will be pictures of you too look in the gallery.
    With my love

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